10.20.13 Dear Alex, Today is your ninth birthday. Wow. Some people tell me – “you’re halfway done!” I don’t see it that way – I don’t see my job as a Mother as ever “done”. But I cry every single birthday. It always goes back to the same thing. You are truly the first human being that is male that has ever made me feel loved unconditionally. Adult men cannot help it – they have these expectations for their wives, girlfriends, daughters, et cetera – and no one can compare. Adult women do this too. Adults do this. Children don’t care if you bounce a check, gain ten pounds or wreck the family car. They just love you for being you – let you be human – and genuinely want you to be happy like they are. At least that has been my experience with you. Last week we took you and your best friend Colby to Great Wolf Lodge again this year. We paid hundreds of dollars to stay there and then play this interactive magic quest game. Mommy nearly died after the first two hours that night of running around the hotel (literally). Daddy took pity on me and took over – and then let me sleep late the next day while he took you guys to the pancake breakfast, the water park and then we all met up at the arcade. You and Colby are of a tech generation – with *devices*. You now have two Nintendo DS game players, an Android tablet and your first Apple product as of this year – an iPod. You got this from your Gigi and Grandpa Grayson. You LOVE it. So when you boys weren’t talking, you were both buried into your individual headphones and devices playing games or listening to music. It’s odd to see 9 year olds look like what I remember 15 year olds to look like. This weekend your Grandma Jackie and Great Aunt Ginneatte came to see you for your actual birthday. With a bit of peer pressure from your European ancestors, you drank your first sip of wine/alcohol in life. You said what a Mom fears the most “wow, that wasn’t that bad!” ;) You Daddy drinks not at all and your Mom drinks wine occasionally now (she’s old and burned out from drinking) but that’s about it. We can only hope you never feel a need to escape or resort to it for *fun*. I guess we always hope the generations after us are improved, refined, stronger than we were/are. You certainly show evidence of that with me – you are a far better person now than I ever was until I began to develop more in my latter 20s. Past the iPod, you got a bunch of giftcards for your bday including iTunes and some cash cards where you immediately picked up the latest version of SKYLANDERS SWAP FORCE. I think you’re secretly thrilled to finally beat your techno buddy Colby to getting something “first”. ;) Your Grandpa Grayson bought you some science fiction since you’ve discovered that in the last year (we just finished H.G. Wells “War of the Worlds”) and Gigi gave you a book card and you bought the rest of the “Percy Jackson” series. There are few words for how happy it makes your Literature major Mom to watch you walk past the toys and crap at the front of the bookstore and spend all your money on actual books – hard books – ahead of your age books – no picture books. REAL BOOKS. You even like hardcovers and are nostalgic about dragging a book around instead of an e-reader. *big dreamy proud Mommy sigh* Last night we met the family for a Mexican food dinner so you could get your favorite – queso – and see your cousin Baby Benjamin. He was adorable, a little over a year old now, and watching him extend his neck so his parents could tickle him was pure joy. You handled your grumpy Grandpa Grayson well when he wanted you to have something of *meaning* as your screen saver instead of a photo of your baby cousin. Your ability to see past his judgment, be ok with your own choices and keep them – also makes me prouder than you can imagine. Mariachis sang you happy birthday and you gave your chocolate away to your parents since you don’t like it. This morning, your ACTUAL birthday, you woke me up like it was Christmas morning for the birthday presents from us. We went and got stuff to make your birthday cake today (carrot cake with cream cheese coconut frosting) and picked up donuts and bacon for your birthday breakfast! Then we opened yet more gifts. You got a giant ANGRY BIRDS Space 30 watt speaker with sub-woofer and bass for your iPod. You LOVE it and it’s so nice to have music playing in the house all the time and not everyone off on their own trip with their own headphones. You also got a Dallas Cowboys football jersey, a Big Bang Trivia board game (one of your most favorite shows) and a Pokemon box of cards and figurines of which you obtained to AWESOME (to quote you) cards for your now over 4,0000 card collection. Then you took the extra cash your aunt Pat sent you and bought some crazy colored neon Addidas tennis shoes. Firehouse Subs for lunch and now you’re playing games in your room on the iPod with your new speaker, wearing your jersey and new shoes. To think Christmas is only 2 months away – what is left?! You are in third grade, your best friend is Colby, you watch Big Bang Theory, the Walking Dead, Regular Show and Adventure time regularly. And Modern Family! You still make mostly As with an occasional B, play tennis and jog with Dad on the weekends. Your shoe size is bigger than mine now (WOW!) and you’re about 3 inches away from being taller than me. You are gorgeous and smart and sweet and the best thing that has ever happened to me. Still. MUAH!! (kiss) Love, Mommy

the playdate :)

Letter to Alex - by Mommy - 3.1.09

So today was your first official "play date" with Audrey. All week long you would have thought it was Christmas with Santa coming!! "Is is Sunday yet? Audrey's coming on Sunday, rrriiigghht?" Right Mommy? Audrey's coming on Sunday - is it Sunday yet?" All week long was "maybe Audrey will like this book" or "do you think Audrey watches Spongebob?" and my favorite "Audrey might think food is spicy!". :)

This morning you woke us up at 7 am and the first words out of your mouth were "I don't go to school today because today Audrey is coming!!" :) Just like Santa!

We got the house clean and at 11 am sharp Audrey and her Mommy showed up as planned! When the door bell rang you screamed and jumped up and down and said "I NEED MY SHOES ON!!!" because you wanted to run out there.

My oh my was she dolled up! Just gorgeous in her pink butterfly t-shirt and jeans and these amazing glitter green princess shoes with big pom poms on them - and OH MY that AWESOME hot pink sequined scarf!! Mommy was beside herself with how adorable your date was and Jennifer, her Mommy, wanted to make sure you noticed the faint traces of blue/green she had put on her eyelids just for the occasion. ;)

The first thing you did was take her back to your Daddy's office to show her the new "WHOOMP" button (*WHOOMP there it is!!**) that you bought Daddy yesterday. She loved it!



Then we went to Mommy's room and went through all the dress up bins to see if Audrey found anything she liked. She opted for the glitter alien headbands. :)



Then you wanted to introduce her to the kitty cats!! :) She had apparently already heard all about Mimi!! Her Mommy Jennifer had even heard about Mimi! Maggie Moo said hello and ran off pretty quickly and Mimi did you proud by sticking to her reputation of hissing but not biting or scratching. You took a photo of Audrey and Mimi's first meeting. Audrey clearly adored her and desperately wanted to get to touch her, but kept her distance as you warned. :)



Then you showed her your favorite umbrella - the fancy one you told her was "made of paper" and held over her head for her.



Then you announced you were hungry and it was time to make pizza! Audrey and her Mommy had brought all the toppings! Audrey likes black olives on her pizza! You like ham and extra cheese. Mommy had pinepalle and ham and Daddy and Jennifer had mushrooms. You shared your step stool with Audrey and showed her how you do it - you made your pizza and her pizza for her.



Audrey doesn't look a thing like your Mommy - but we do seem to have one interest (other than you) in common:



We all sat at the big table and ate lunch. You both had milk in big boy/big girl cups. Audrey just ate the topping off her pizza while you ate all of your pizza.

After lunch, you chased her around the house (literally), played on big bed, in your playroom and did play dough. Then she spotted your jungle gym outside and and wanted to check it out.



After some time outside in the backyard - you two hit the couch while Daddy made muffins and Jennifer and Mommy talked at the kitchen table. Turns out Audrey likes PowerPUFF girls as much as you do AND you got to introduce her to PUCCA!



She didn't want her apple juice so you drank her sippy too. Finally, after seeing you both appear to want to doze off - I asked Audrey if she was ready to take a nap. She said yes and you said "she can sleep in my bed!" :) We decided it was time to end the play date (it last four hours!!) and promised we'd get you two together again soon!

You gave Audrey a pink trunk with Sunshine and a Share Carebear both, two tie dye pink t-shirts you and Mommy had made, a pink belt that used to be Mommys and a valentine's candy necklace. When it was time to go you told her, all on your own, "let me carry this for you, it might be a little heavy". Both Mommies swooned and I was sooo proud of you!



You got to the car and tried to open her car door for her. :)



Tonight at dinner you said you wanted to take her out to Abuelos next, your favorite mexican food place. You were concerned the queso might be too spicy for her but you wanted to take her anyway. I told you we'd make a dinner date soon.

What a day kiddo - so proud of you and your manners!!

Love,
Mommy :)

cute kid photos

cutest kid ever



omg i didn't even pose him - this is my gorgeous son



amd these darlings are my friend Cindy's twins - Emma & Ryan

ok - sharing my photography from Sunday

nikki and beth

Nikki blog rules - one of the best ever - should be a column

Beth's is so BETHit's got the blog purpose - it helps you BE with Beth and miss her

which make me wish she'd comment on my journal - EVEr

like my good cousin

so I could bother to post her instead of just rant on DA

**pout**

the one difference here and DA is here I can cut/paste photos and video easy\

hmm...

DA

No one comments on this blog so it's more of a chore for me since I already blog at DA.

See ya there - otherwise I'll still come read the few of you that blog here (which was why I started to blog here) and comment if I feel the urge, otherwise -you know where to find my blog if you care.

:)

Autumn Arrives!!

Fall has arrived at our house! :)

Veterans Day

Today is Veteran’s Day. I don’t think about that much – but due to the political year, and the fact my aunt is married to a veteran, my best friend’s father is a veteran, my grandfather was a veteran – I considered it today.

Frankly, I grew up pretty standard 1970s American. That means for me that I had a grandmother who had a very strong respect for the military, as she had experienced it in her life far more than I had – her being of the generation whose parents went to WWI and whose lovers and brothers went to WWII. I grew up very close to her and my grandfather, who flew planes in WWII and to this day, images of fighting planes hang in their back pine paneled den. I remember Papa talking to me about flying a lot – and airplanes – and how they worked. But never about “war”. I was perhaps too young for him to touch on that so much, or maybe he just preferred to remember the planes.

At home, my biological father had been drafted into the army. My stepfather who raised me had poor eyesight and was not drafted. (I suppose that’s not an issue today?) Anyway – I knew to romanticize soldiers but didn’t really learn about their sacrifice.

Growing up in 1970s – a lot of the filmmakers of the time made movies about Vietnam. My mother, who had many friends go to Vietnam or be affected by it in some way, watched all these movies. I literally had a bit of fear of Asians as a kid from those damn movies. They made the horrible judgment call to take me to see DeNiro in the “Deerhunter” when I was a kid – like 9 years old or so. We sat on the second row. Memories of the “Russian Roulet” scenes haunt me to this day if something triggers my memory of it. The soldiers in these bamboo cages submerged in water with rats crawling on the surface and dead bodies rising to the top. Absolutely way too much reality for my little girl mind. I think I shut myself down at that point about war. War = bad was how I had it.

Then I grew up. War = a way of life or some. War = a necessity in the real world for some. War = bad for some. War = honor for others. Et cetera. It’s a very emotional topic. I remember meeting a German woman while playing foosball who told me “Americans seem to romanticize violence and be so interested in it in their pop culture of movies, video games and t.v., I wonder if it is because they have never had war on their homeland.” It made me think. I have never been out of the country past summer visits to Mexico – and I guess I just thought everyone’s movies and tv looked like ours.

I have a son, as you know. To be quite honest – I don’t and won’t promote the idea of military service to him. I know that stems from nothing past my own self interest and selfishness as his Mother. I don’t want my son to be a fireman, policeman or pilot either. I don’t ever want him to take a job that uses a gun. Again, this is 100% from my own selfish fear of him raising the percentage of him being hurt. Plus – the idea of a person in the White House having to make troubled and heavy decisions, to where soldiers become a number to be considered in how to be used (I understand this reality and accept it) – well, I just don’t want my kid’s life to be a number to be used in a way that works for the grand plan of someone in the White House – whether the plan at the time I deem noble or not.

Honestly, ever since the war in Iraq began – Americans have had to battle a huge negative backlash from the rest of the world, all out of our hands and in the hands of our leader at the time –whom we may or may not have supported. It was strange for me at first. I had never felt a need to “defend” my country. I was torn because I didn’t believe in our presence in Iraq (nor do I today). But I finally realized – I didn’t have to support all the decisions my President made – but that didn’t translate into me not being proud of my country. I am. I love my country. My trip to Washington D.C. made that very clear to me, as I became literally overwhelmed with emotion and pride at the monuments, the history, the love for where I’m from.

I realize that no matter what – soldiers do what they’re told. They sacrifice. More than I’ll ever know. And I do support my troops – everywhere – how can you not? March on Washington for change, but when the soldiers come off the plane – nothing but salutes and claps and hugs. It’s just the right thing to do. Thank them. One day they will probably be fighting for something you do believe in when you’re at home watching them on tv eating a hot meal.