Veterans Day

Today is Veteran’s Day. I don’t think about that much – but due to the political year, and the fact my aunt is married to a veteran, my best friend’s father is a veteran, my grandfather was a veteran – I considered it today.

Frankly, I grew up pretty standard 1970s American. That means for me that I had a grandmother who had a very strong respect for the military, as she had experienced it in her life far more than I had – her being of the generation whose parents went to WWI and whose lovers and brothers went to WWII. I grew up very close to her and my grandfather, who flew planes in WWII and to this day, images of fighting planes hang in their back pine paneled den. I remember Papa talking to me about flying a lot – and airplanes – and how they worked. But never about “war”. I was perhaps too young for him to touch on that so much, or maybe he just preferred to remember the planes.

At home, my biological father had been drafted into the army. My stepfather who raised me had poor eyesight and was not drafted. (I suppose that’s not an issue today?) Anyway – I knew to romanticize soldiers but didn’t really learn about their sacrifice.

Growing up in 1970s – a lot of the filmmakers of the time made movies about Vietnam. My mother, who had many friends go to Vietnam or be affected by it in some way, watched all these movies. I literally had a bit of fear of Asians as a kid from those damn movies. They made the horrible judgment call to take me to see DeNiro in the “Deerhunter” when I was a kid – like 9 years old or so. We sat on the second row. Memories of the “Russian Roulet” scenes haunt me to this day if something triggers my memory of it. The soldiers in these bamboo cages submerged in water with rats crawling on the surface and dead bodies rising to the top. Absolutely way too much reality for my little girl mind. I think I shut myself down at that point about war. War = bad was how I had it.

Then I grew up. War = a way of life or some. War = a necessity in the real world for some. War = bad for some. War = honor for others. Et cetera. It’s a very emotional topic. I remember meeting a German woman while playing foosball who told me “Americans seem to romanticize violence and be so interested in it in their pop culture of movies, video games and t.v., I wonder if it is because they have never had war on their homeland.” It made me think. I have never been out of the country past summer visits to Mexico – and I guess I just thought everyone’s movies and tv looked like ours.

I have a son, as you know. To be quite honest – I don’t and won’t promote the idea of military service to him. I know that stems from nothing past my own self interest and selfishness as his Mother. I don’t want my son to be a fireman, policeman or pilot either. I don’t ever want him to take a job that uses a gun. Again, this is 100% from my own selfish fear of him raising the percentage of him being hurt. Plus – the idea of a person in the White House having to make troubled and heavy decisions, to where soldiers become a number to be considered in how to be used (I understand this reality and accept it) – well, I just don’t want my kid’s life to be a number to be used in a way that works for the grand plan of someone in the White House – whether the plan at the time I deem noble or not.

Honestly, ever since the war in Iraq began – Americans have had to battle a huge negative backlash from the rest of the world, all out of our hands and in the hands of our leader at the time –whom we may or may not have supported. It was strange for me at first. I had never felt a need to “defend” my country. I was torn because I didn’t believe in our presence in Iraq (nor do I today). But I finally realized – I didn’t have to support all the decisions my President made – but that didn’t translate into me not being proud of my country. I am. I love my country. My trip to Washington D.C. made that very clear to me, as I became literally overwhelmed with emotion and pride at the monuments, the history, the love for where I’m from.

I realize that no matter what – soldiers do what they’re told. They sacrifice. More than I’ll ever know. And I do support my troops – everywhere – how can you not? March on Washington for change, but when the soldiers come off the plane – nothing but salutes and claps and hugs. It’s just the right thing to do. Thank them. One day they will probably be fighting for something you do believe in when you’re at home watching them on tv eating a hot meal.