too little for this big world

My back went out for the first time about 10 years ago. I had watched my mother suffer from disc issues before, but until you are truly paralyzed with your back truly just STOPPING working for you - you have no idea how much pain it is. Unfortunately, once it happens - it becomes this chronic thing.

I made it years before it became this daily issue - sometime in the last year for me. Maybe it's age (I'm 41), more likely it's moving into a house that is 90% hard tile floorings and having a four year old which means those years have also been constant stooping and carrying around a small weight that started at 7 pounds and now is a whopping 43 pounds. I don't carry him anymore but I only very recently stopped and still pick him up fairly often because it's hard to stop.

But in all honesty - a good bit of it has to do with me being SO short! I'm 4'11". People always assume I'm like 5'2" or 5'3" - let's just go with the fact that I have a "big" personality. ;) However, alas - I have never met the 5' mark. This means that no chairs - EVER - anywhere - ergonomically fit me. My feet would swing from school chairs since I was in the fifth grade (which, by the way, was when I quit growing). My feet swing to this day on the commodes in my house, my dining room table chairs, my computer chair and my chair at my office. Always have. I get the foot rests, the pillows behind the back, pull the seat up, forward and the steering wheel column down all as far as they'll go in my car. But none of this works. I never - correctly - ergonomically - fit - into any sitting position. Sooo - my back hurts. A lot.

I do yoga daily to relieve it. I carry icy hot in my desk drawer and at home. I wear padded soled shoes around my tile floors. But what sucks the most is that now - I have to wear the shoes, I have to do the yoga (constantly) just to not be distracted by my back hurting.

They have petite clothing. I can hem a pair of pants. I can get a step stool to reach higher shelves. But I can't wear platform shoes all the time.

So I suffer. It makes me feel old. I feel hopeless over it b/c I can't see how to relieve the issue of this reality.

Oh well - it could be worse - I could be in Vegas unable to reach a slot machine like mini Brit. :)

Life goes on.....